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A P.G. Guide To R-Rated Movies

by Ray McMillin

R-Rated movies are just as stupid as regular movies. However, you’re gonna need to know a few of the essential R-Rated movies if you want to look cool. So, here are a few synopses of important R-Rated movies, summarized to the point, so you don’t have to risk getting in trouble (or wasting your time), enjoy:

Saw I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, MMXIV—Guy tortures people.

Sex And The City I, II—Girls torture guys.

Django Unchained—Guy escapes from torture, tortures people.

Big Money Hustlas—The classic narrative of disambiguation, with a traditional monomyth theme, in which a lonely detective on the fringe of moral constitutional decline discovers himself, through a series of encounters with a disproportionately advantageous and equally conflicted crime boss, set against the picturesque backdrop of 1970s Manhattan.

A Clockwork Orange—Guys torture people, one gets caught and gets tortured to make him stop torturing people.

Precious—Food tortures girl.

Silence Of The Lambs—Guy tortures girl, girl tortures Precious (no relation).

Hostel—Tourists get tortured.

Wolf Creek—Tourists get tortured.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre—Tourists get tortured.

Natural Born Killers—Two tourists torture everyone.

House Of 1000 Corpses—(see Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

Fight Club—Guy tortures himself.

The Godfather—(see Big Money Hustlas).

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