"MISSED CONNECTION" TURNS OUT TO BE DODGED BULLET
March / April 2019
A Craigslist ad placed late last Wednesday evening actually serves as a reminder of the recipient’s luck and a need for increased awareness regarding the safety of strangers in public. The ad read as follows:
"U were girl with long hair that smelled like flowers and was busy looking for baby formula. Me: large, misshapen man in green hair and Minecraft shirt, who followed you around the store while you shopped. Sorry I didn’t say anything at the time, was high on bath salts and pain pills, had to go pass out in my car. Let me know if you’d like to grab coffee or something."
According to sources at Whole Foods, the recipient of the missed connection is not likely to accept the poster’s invitation for a lunch date.
In related news, that one guy from out of town is still looking for some nice laydees to hang out with.