REPUBLICANS MAY TAKE OVER THE OREGON HOUSE OF PANCAKES
It may be a bleak month ahead for local Democrats who are expecting to get their breakfast served to them on time, sources inside a local pancake restaurant informed Saucetown this week.
"Bleak? Not really...I mean, it’s just a bunch of old guys who talk about stock prices and fill out the crossword puzzles. I don’t know if it’s really newsworthy," an employee of the OHOP reported. "Still, we recommend that anyone, including those registered to any party, make reservations for brunch. It’s really, really simple—you just fill out a card. But, most people don’t even bother to do that, so these old dudes can take up as many seats as they want."
Donald Trump was, at press time, unavailable for comment.